Roller Coaster Ride

So, last Monday I remember spending much of the morning in tears. Just upset and sad about everything and being full of regrets and anger - definitely on the down turn of the roller coaster ride. This week, a totally different story. I'm on the up side of the roller coaster ride.

I have three interviews this week!!! Woo-hoo!! I also have another meeting scheduled next week that has me super-psyched. And, our local newspaper wants to include me in a story about the unemployed - blogging, interviews, video, photos, etc. I think it could be a lot of fun, and it's something to keep me occupied.

Tomorrow is outplacement training day - ugh. Wednesday I am down to C-bus for an interview, and then I have two other agency interviews on Thursday.

Riding high!

Kalahari

Tomorrow my family embarks on our 6th annual winter trip to Kalahari. There are 23 of us going. We fill two giant suites!! This trip is my grandparents' Christmas gift to us all, and we all really look forward to it every year. It's funny but the first year we went, Jerry and I were just married and we went on all the rides ourselves. Drank a lot. The next year, I was pregnant with Maddy. Ugh. Being there and feeling like a whale in a bathing suit kinda sucked. The next year was Maddy's first trip. She fell asleep in the lazy river on a tube with Jerry. The next year, I was pregnant with Emma. Again, whale feeling. Last year, Emma's first trip. She got sick there, but she tried to stay happy and enjoy it. Now, hopefully this year, we'll have two healthy girls there. Maddy is SUPER excited. Emma loves the water, so I'm sure she will also have a blast.

It's great because we all divided up food/drink stuff and everybody is bringing something. Should be a great time.

These 23 people... it's my mom's side of the family. My grandparents (they are 65 years old), my parents, the four of us, my brother's family (wife and two daughters), my single uncle, my other uncle's family (son, son's friend, girlfriend, girlfriend's daughter), my aunt's family (husband, three sons and one daughter). Crazy, crazy. Age range 65-9 months and everything in-between!

Gotta go finish packing! I'll post on Monday and let you know how it goes!

Revelations

Well, tomorrow marks three weeks since the official HR meeting at Nat City. It's been an emotional roller coaster - surgery and recovery, and then facing reality. Here I sit, blogging as an unemployed PR pro. And what I have realized in these few weeks is exactly that - I am a public relations professional. Why is that important? Because as I read through job posting after job posting, there are times when I read marketing jobs and sales jobs and development jobs and think to myself, "I could do that." And I could. I know I could mold myself into those roles and do them well. However, those things are not my passions. They are not what I love to do and they are not what I devoted my college years to studying and mastering.

Thanks to my severance package, I have time to find something new and I need to do myself justice by not settling and not succumbing to fear and taking something that just isn't me. I LOVE working with the media. I'm good at it. I've had success that many PR pros dream about. I LOVE health care. I completely and with my whole self miss that work. Not necessarily the place, but the work. Telling stories. That's what I do.

Every time I hear that song "Rockstar" by Pink, I get all pumped up and think about how I am a rockstar. Now, I just need to find a company that is willing to let me perform on their stage.

I've been asked a lot lately about what I want to do - corporate or agency? My answer is either. It doesn't necessarily matter to me. What matters to me is that I'm valued and that the people are inspiring and comfortable. Most importantly, they need my expertise and it feels right in my gut.

These past few months have been excruciating for me. I'm used to being at the top, being a standout. Now, I feel like I'm starting all over again. And that's ok, because I've learned so many lessons and realized what really matters to me. I am a public relations professional and I will come out of this mess being a better one.

Movie-Goers

OK, so I went to the movies this afternoon with my friend Julie to see Confessions of a Shopaholic. We both read all the books and were prepared to take in the film version, but as we sat in the theater, we were just cracking up at our fellow attendees.

We got there early, scoped out good seats. You all know that getting good seats is easy, but good seats quickly become HORRIBLE seats as more people pop in and don't know good etiquette. When the theater is not full, there is no need to sit right next to, in front of, or even remotely really close to other people you don't know... well, we didn't get anyone TOO close, except for the woman who sat in front of us (not directly in front, but one seat over). It was so strange. She brought a pillow with her and put it behind her back. She was there alone and she sat bundled up in her coat the entire time. Then there were a two men (not together) who came to this complete chick flick ALONE. WEIRD. Then, there was the woman who was obviously not handicapped who sat in the handicapped seats AND she was wearing a bizarre sparkly red knit hat...? And, we cracked up at the poor sap guys who got dragged to this movie by the girlfriends who have them completely whipped. Hilarious.

This movie is a total nod to fashionistas/shopaholics everywhere, so there were a few women there who were dressed a little too appropriately for attending an afternoon matinee... yes, girl with the gold ballet slippers I mean you.

So, the afternoon movie experience was worth it - laughs are the best medicine, especially when you are depressed about your current employment status!

Job Stuff

It's been a busy week... I had lunch with a Malachi House board member on Tuesday and then a round of formal interviews there yesterday. Things went well. Am I certain this is a good fit? No. Need to learn more and figure out if fundraising is really the way I want to go... I do want to work in non-profit, but I rather do PR than development work. We'll see. The place is really touching and inspiring. The work would be meaningful... aaahhh.

I also had drinks last night with a friend and my former boss. It was good to catch up. It's still incredibly hard to hear about the person they hired to replace me at the hospital. I just have to keep doors open. And, listening to her, it does remind me of why I chose to leave in the first place.

The girls and I are home today. Maddy woke up at 2 a.m. with the stomach flu, throwing up ever since. Bummer is I was supposed to go to school with her today to be the parent helper for pink pancake day :( I'm sad we had to miss it. So far Emma is ok, but I would take bets that she ends up sick tonight!

Recovering

The surgery went well. Everything went as planned. I got wheeled back into surgery at 11:45. Woke up around 2:00. Left the hospital at 5:30. My mom came and spent the night on Wednesday night, which was really helpful. I spent Thursday and Friday home alone, and it was glorious! Nothing but sleeping, reading and watching TV. It was a peaceful couple of days. I finished two novels in two days! And then read a third one yesterday. I went to my mom's to get out of the house a little bit yesterday. I had lunch there and slept on the couch. Today we ventured out to my grandparents' house to celebrate my grandpa's 65th birthday. I love my grandma!! I came home with a snuggie blanket and moisturizing socks - it was my "get well" goody package.

I'm home now agonizing over tomorrow. I'm home alone with the girls... back to real life. Good thing is I have a lunch meeting about Malachi House on Tuesday!! Wednesday will be another day at home, and on Thursday, I am going to Maddy's school to be a class helper. (I never get to do that when I'm working.)

I am going to get a manicure tomorrow night - it's a must. I need to go into Tuesday feeling good and ultra-confident. Need good nails for that! I just need to figure out how to tell my hubby that I need the manicure... hmmm. I think I'll just email him while he's at work tomorrow.

Nervous

Surgery tomorrow. I have to be at the hospital at 9:00 a.m. I probably won't be posting until later this week or early next. I have no idea how much pain will be had post-surgery... I know I'll be getting some good drugs, but still. If I actually had a job at the moment, I would've had to take a week off to recover, so I know this is no picnic. 4 little scars.... ugh.

Day One

It's day one of this world I am now living in... Home with the girls today, and it's weird. I am going to struggle with this "routine." Monday's I'll have both girls home with me all day. Tuesday's and Thursday's Maddy will go to school and to my MIL's like usual. Wednesday's I'll have them both home. Friday's my mom will still have them.

Good news though - it's my first day, and I've already arranged for two meetings/discussions. One with a guy from an agency based in Columbus - I have a lot of friends/connections down there from college, and they are interested in expanding their businesses in health care and banking... The other is with Brown Flynn. Both will be after I'm recovered from my surgery, but I'm feeling good that calls are coming in already. I am expecting a call from the Malachi House team probably tomorrow...

Anyhow, this is a strange and weird feeling for me. I had a talk with Maddy today to explain why she can't answer the phone, and why when mommy goes to talk on the phone in her closet, that means she needs to be extra quiet and be a big baby-sitter for Emma. She was really sweet about it and seemed to get that it was important that she help me :)

Oh well, Em just woke up from her nap. Gotta run.